Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How external is "for external use only"?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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