Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
