Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
