you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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