He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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