I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
