You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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