did you get engaged???
her vagine was all disorganized.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
