honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
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