I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
