shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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