do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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