I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
