I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
