Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
