I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was CRYING into my vagina
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
