Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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