video games are the ultimate cock blocker
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
