Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
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I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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