Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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