erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
