My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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