Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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