Buhtt sex?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
