I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
