I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
