on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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