Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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