Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
