Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
