So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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