Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
