can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
