I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dick very happy bro
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
