Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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