Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
