Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
