Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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