In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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