I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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