Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
