Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
