This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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