I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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