i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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