Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
