Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
