I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
