i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
