I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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