Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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