Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
