Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
