im drinking this country out of the recession.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
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Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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