HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
