There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
