The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
