It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
