Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
