Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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